When and if I meet my mother at last, I think I will be having some words with her. Why did she have me raised in a world which seems to have prepared me so badly for what's in the other worlds; no - shadows. Was it because she wanted me to become a shapeshifter, or is that just a fortunate accident? But what about this magic which, it appears, exists elsewhere. And machines, or so I'm told they are, like the ones here - all boxes, with lights and moving pictures and words on some, linked by these strange smooth ropes and threads. What are they? And from the way Rayner spoke or Vampires and zombies, they exist out there too. And I know only the legends of them, too. Though I don't think I'd have liked to have grown up in world with them, even if it did mean I knew more about them.
It seems clear that I'm just woefully ill educated on all these, it appears important, matters. Why? Is it just an oversight on Llewella's part? Or was she trying to protect me (good job she made of that, if so). Or does (did) she want me ignorant and, I suppose, weak?
Well, whichever of the two it was, all that I've seen so far makes me want to know more. Much more. And when things quieten to the point where I can take the time to learn, then I will, Godsdammit!
I think I'm very angry at Llewella, in the back of my mind, and it's colouring my thoughts towards her. And why not!? Either it was something like she left me on Timashkurabad with the intention of keeping me ignorant and then left me there so I was stuck through the Oricarian invasion. Or she just forgot or was too distracted to help me or take me from there. Either way sticks in my craw like nothing else, and stokes this anger in my mind.
I must find out what she was doing and what her intentions were on Timashkurabad, and towards me.
And so, now, we meet the builder of this 'new' power, the Pattern-thing, Martin of Amber, and his ... associate ... Mandor of Chaos. Martin appears, on short association, to be poor in the planning department. He built this Pattern-thing, discovered its use makes one strong, but mad (allegedly without using it himself) then had it stolen by this Brand, who used it himself and is thus now mad. I remember tales of absent-minded professors from when Timashkurabad had universities. I wonder if this Martin qualifies?
Mandor seems watchful and arrogant. Claimed that
But now he wants us to go to the battle which is currently happening at Chaos. And it looks like we will. All but Azaria. Why her? Is it this 'computer wizardry' she possesses? Perhaps. Not that going into battle is my favouritest option. But it may be the only way to get to Llewella, and the rest of the family.
Willhelm says all of us of Amber have Chaos blood. That came as a surprise, but maybe it's where my aptitude for shapechanging comes from. Perhaps, yet again, we'll see.
And now that Orm has recovered his senses, it seems we have two talkative types in our little group, him and Willhelm, who we already knew liked the sound of his own voice. I wonder what will happen now. Will they cancel each other out, or will the rest of us not get a word in edgeways?