I never thought I would have to say it, but I feel redundant. How unpleasant. But unfortunately true, for the first time ever.
Adam and Ishmael can do things whose workings I cannot even comprehend by somehow scrying through the Pattern, and which are vastly more enlightening than anything I can do. Cuchullain and Nicobrus have vastly better combat skills than I have. Taranis knows more of scrying with the cards than I do, and can perform magic considerably more potent than my own.
So far on this mission I have contributed nothing. Not that I have any objections to others doing the hard work, but I would prefer to be something more than a mere spectator.
Even my interrogation of some of the prisoners we captured proved ultimately futile, at least in terms of my contributing anything useful. Not that I was helped in this by Bleys, after his imbecilic failure to mention the existence (and his possession) of a functioning truth drug. My only immediate explanation for this behaviour is his being responsible for what has happened, though there is, as yet, no evidence one way or the other.
At least we, or rather Benedict, found Tir na'Nogth, hanging over Corwins Pattern.
I am starting to wonder why I bother trying to help with the Tir na'Nogth problem; it's not as if the others can help me with my problem, and I'm certainly being damn-all use to them. In fact, given that they contributed as little as I did to the finding of Tir na'Nogth in the first place, and only Taranis was of any use in reaching it once it was found, I wonder what use any of us other than Taranis really are.
Unfortunately, as I signed up for this ... mission in order to gain points with the King, my pulling out now would not reflect well on me. Mother would probably not be too happy if I did so either. So I suppose I'll just have to carry on for a while yet, hopefully until a successful conclusion of some kind.
Assuming there was any veracity to what was seen by the others in Tir na'Nogth, there may well be bad times ahead. If the finding of Tir na'Nogth is any indicator, though, one of the elder Amberites is likely to resolve the situation before any of we "youngsters" even get close to a solution. Consequently, I see little need to seriously risk myself at the present time.
Of course, if the situation changes my opinion may change too. For the moment, however, I think that sitting out any danger is the most prudent course. Not that this is likely to be taken too kindly by the others, but then, I cannot expect them to see things as I do...