Venus really does not have a clue. She claims she has been willing to work with everyone on solving the crisis from the beginning. This may well be true. However, the thing is, the thing that she seems constitutionally incapable of grasping, is that everyone else would rather not have to fight through her hostility, constant self-deprecation, obfuscation and mantle of martyrdom and angst in order to do so when there are many more agreeable - more welcoming! - alternatives available!
I also do not see why she thinks secrets are something hated in Amber. Why, from what I have seen and learned in my time there I should have thought them one of the best-loved things in the entire place!
But still. Eventually, Benedict and Mefestis dragged us back on track.
I suggested that the best way to proceed was to ask the Spikards and Sarithi what was going on, they, after all, having more first-hand knowledge of the matters at hand than any other entities that I am aware of.
This drew significant results, if not quite what I might have expected.
Cedric reshaped his sword - his Sarithi, Aluri - into a small humanoid automaton. It then addressed us. With help from Werewindle and the others, and an occasional interjection from the Jason entity to keep us all on something resembling the track.
Apparently there is no hierarchy among the Sarithi and Spikards, though from what we have seen they are also not necessarily of one mind on all matters. They are apparently the children of Chimera, the second-born of the Mother - World Tree Of All Things - and the Father - Abyss. Their daughter.
They are 'one and many' and 'a part of the madness and darkness that are the Chimera'. Older than the Primal Unicorn and the Primal Serpent. This makes the Chimera seem to be some form of monstrous entity, a thing that should not be, who produced the Weirmonken - according to Benedict responsible for making Tir-Na Nog'th what it is today and nearly destroying the Golden Circle - and the R'lyehians - the Cthulu gods - of whom I have never heard before.
The Spikards and Sarithi are not, apparently, the focus of any Primal Concept such as Order or Insanity. As such they cannot summon that Primal power into their every action because none of them, no matter how powerful, is limited to only one concept. This contrasts with the likes of the Family of Amber who, although we have a wider range of power from our various Primal Concepts, are also limited by this in the strength of focus we can achieve.
The first-born of the Mother and the Father was apparently the Nimbus of Potential, the power my Lust opened up to me. Does this mean that that power is part of every living thing? That is certainly the implication, and also implies that everyone can tap into it, if they will only listen to themselves, their inner voices...
I wonder, is the Nimbus the positive potential of what should be, while the Chimera is the negative of reality of what should not be?
It seems there was also a third child of the Father and the Mother in the early days of the universe. Champion-Martyr, brother of Chimera, who died. Precisely how this happened has not been elucidated at present.
Apparently the children of the Mother and the Father disappointed them somehow, and they decided to start over again. The Mother and the Father parted there, in the dawn of time, and all of their children died as He reclaimed his Emptiness and Unknown leaving just matter without limits, and She reclaimed her Reality leaving nothing left but limits without matter.
This is what might occur again if we cannot undo the damage to the universe to their satisfaction.
But it seems that the Mother and the Father came together again, however, and they created anew. Recreated the Nimbus and the Chimera. Creating the younger siblings of the Nimbus and the Chimera, the parents of we later races, who made up what Aluri called the 'Children's Empire'.
During this time the Tree of life held the two of them a safe distance from one another, not too close or yet too far apart, and this is how they remain. But they have noticed the damage to it. It is this that has made them return. To demand answers, and have us justify our lives and reality.
I wonder. Did they allow the children of that earlier time, of the Nimbus, Chimera and Champion-Martyr, to dictate the structure of the new universe they formed then, as we are to do now?
But regardless of this, it would seem that it came about. However, the new universe was far from perfect. For whatever reason the younger children of the Mother and the Father - our 'Primal Parents' and 'Holy Beings' - planned to exterminate the children of the Chimera. And thus the Chimera came to be locked in deadly combat with her younger siblings. This was apparently the beginning of all of the problems that still trouble us today.
It was this Empire that the Spikards and Sarithi were made to fight. From what was said they were rather unsuccessful against the various powers of the Sequencians, Thari Chaosians, Faerie, Gods, Phoenixians and Dragosians. But final victory went to them regardless. Because Nimbus cursed them, breaking the potential of the 'Children's Empire', and the Chimera blessed them with madness, causing them to become forever lost as a single people. A very great waste. But still, entities seem driven to great extremes when their lives are threatened.
The Spikards and Sarithi had to fight for their lives, and betrayed their parents to prevent genocide, apparently because they had a vision of death if that happened. We still know little more than that.
After the break-up of the 'Children's Empire', the Spikards and Sarithi caused many more wars in all of the realms as they attempted to keep everything balanced and so avoid a confrontation leading to the return of the Mother and the Father.
But despite their efforts, Amber broke the Tree of Life and Dworkin used the Jewel of Judgement thus obtained to draw the Pattern, breaking 'the balance'. He passed his knowledge of this on to his son Oberon, who founded the Realm of Amber, which was far too powerful and continued the imbalance Dworkin began.
Apparently Spikards and Sarithi attempted to restore the balance. An entity named 'Tharkis the Destroyer' - another Sarithi or Spikard? - sent the Weirmonken and the Moonriders against Amber, with no success. Chaos was also turned towards Amber, but could only send a limited force because of their constant battles with Sapphire which kept those two powers in balance.
And so the balance remained broken, and now we have come to this, the return of the 'Great Ones', who will, one assumes, restore the balance one way or another...
The various Spikards and Sarithi did not directly answer my question, when I asked them why we should not simply blame them for the breaking of the universe. As well as my questions as to why our various primal parents and holy being were intending to exterminate their kind, and how all of them ended up in what seemed to be a form of servitude.
However, all twenty-seven of the Spikards and Sarathi did then all shift into solid forms or forms of twisting darkness and moved to the centre of the room where they fused into one. An entity of darkness and twisting solidity that seemed quite sanity-threatening to look at.
It claimed to be the Weirmonken, the 'cast off shadow of the insane Chimera'. It spoke to us, justifying its doing what it did. It claimed that it turned to the light 'for without light there is no darkness and we would be consumed by her blessed darkness to die again. Just as heroes need a villain so to do villains need heroes to shape them.' Hmm.
This sounded to me, as Khelladon also rightly noted, to be little more than self-justification on their part. But still, we were in no position to dispute its word, and there was little to be gained by arguing about it.
Instead, Queen Kyre berated Khelladon for his words, and at his instigation instead asked who and what caused the first break in the Tree Of Life.
Surprisingly, the Weirmonken answered, and not with the answer I expected. Apparently the Tree is flawed because its creators, the Mother and the Father are also flawed, so the first break in the Tree - or at least the potential for it - was always there, intrinsic to it.
I suppose this should come as no surprise, really. If the Mother and the Father were not flawed, I imagine we should not be in the dire straits we currently find ourselves...
But still, the Weirmonken's next words surprised me further. We are, it seems, aspects of them intended to give direction to and improve 'the system' - presumably the universe as a whole - and thereby make it the best that we can.
Interesting. So, there is a purpose to life after all...
In Iris' case it would seem that her purpose is to heal the universe. Ours, to assist her. Assuming Venus can understand the concept and the problems. Which may be an issue. She still seems to be having problems with all of this, despite repeated explanations by the Weirmonken, myself and others, and visits to previously unknown realms, such as that of the Ixfenians.
At least the Weirmonken made a constructive suggestion, that the best way to begin was to discern the most practical way to repair - to heal - the Tree of Life. It seems that if we help it feel better it will allow this, and may even help, also. And from that other constructive things may follow. Hopefully.
As the Weirmonken rightly said, if nothing else it cannot hurt to be found by the Mother and the Father at least attempting to put right that which is wrong. Even if, as Venus also rightly stated, that implied our going to every Great Power in the universe and asking them to volunteer us their most valuable Crown Jewel so that they may all be fitted back into the Tree...
Examining the Tree of Life, obtained from beneath Ygg in some fashion, showed that, in addition to missing all of the various gems, one of its 'branches' was broken and leaning down as if about to fall off. Its trunk also had a split running up its length. Neither a good sign.
And all a reflection of the damage to shadow as a whole, it seems. The Tree of Life is apparently not simply a representative of the powers of shadow, but is in fact the 'manageable scale' version of the powers of shadow, each being linked one to the other in a sympathetic relationship. And it is not an inanimate object but a living one. Or so the Weirmonken tells us.
Thankfully, most of the Jewels were already in the room with us. Random of course had the Jewel of Judgement. Mefestis had the Stones of the Phoenix while Cedric had the three Stones of the Muse. I would certainly be interested to know how he obtained them; is he a high-ranking deity in his own right, or is there some other reason for him to have them? Benedict had the broken stone called the Impossigon. Which, as I recall, is something Master Tarn is attuned to.
I suggested, perhaps naively, that we could simply explain the situation to the Dragosians and ask them for their stones of power. Iliskos made the much more sensible suggestion that she talk to the dragon of her acquaintance and attempt to learn more of, and acquire, the Dragosian gems by that route.
At least the Tree, although damaged, is not fragile, so there is only a small chance of our inadvertently destroying the universe while trying to repair it...
Venus did ask a relevant question that triggered me to wonder why we are doing this, kow-towing to entities much more powerful than ourselves as we are preparing to do. The answer, of course, is the same one that brought me to Amber in the first place, in response to Random's letter.
That is, I quite like the universe as it stands, and will, for preference, work to preserve it. If that requires a little kow-towing, well, it will not, one hopes, kill me or anyone else...
But what do I wish for, for the universe, if we rebuild and reshape it? An interesting question. There are two things that immediately spring to mind.
First, diversity, which I think is very important. And not static diversity, where everything can, in time, be learned as Venus wishes, but diversity of the increasing and changing variety, where there will always be mysteries and new things to find out. New lands to explore.
Secondly, connectivity. I hope that, were all of the various places and races of the universe better able to reach and communicate with one another, that conflicts such as the current one might be better averted. I suppose making changes of this nature would also include the re-merging of the realms of Amber and Sapphire, as well as Finndo's De'alund.
I wonder. Could we also diversify the powers of the universe as well? Somehow divide up the ten gems into a much larger number of smaller shards? Split the powers across shadow? Across more people? More races?
Of course, persuading the others, Venus especially, of the goodness of this element of my plan may not be trivial...
But I am certain that the one thing we do not want to do is restore the old balance. It seems clear to me from today's revelations that a balance will inevitably be upset. We need something else. Something better. Although I am not, as yet, sure exactly what.
Of course, it was at the point where we had agreed on a way forward that things were derailed. By the arrival of the Father.
A corner of the room darkened, and the Weirmonken walked into that darkness and was gone. Somehow I - we - could tell that the Age in which Spikards and Sarathi existed was no more. Then the area of darkness darkened again, but with an absence of light rather than a darkness, a light sucking hole that took humanoid - but not human - shape. And the Father had come.
I was not impressed. Just when we were about to make progress, but before any had been achieved, they arrive to judge us. Damn.
Fortunately he was not offended by my perhaps intemperate comment upon his arrival...
But regardless, by some means the Father pulled we four out of the room we were in, or perhaps pushed the room away from us, or some combination of the two. And when we were alone produced the remaining three stones from the Tree of Life. The stone of Chimera, the stone of Champion-Martyr and the stone of Nimbus.
The former was a stone of purest darkness, twisting insanely on itself, rather like the Weirmonken itself when it formed from the Sarithi and Spikards. The second was a stone of purest light, shining like an obsessed star trying to blot out the darkness. The last appeared to be merely a normal stone, but it was the stone the Father would not let us touch. I wonder why?
Regardless, the stones of Chimera and Champion-Martyr were both related to alien concepts, not Order, Chaos or Ideal. Instead they related to Darkness and Insanity and Light and Insanity respectively, but in ways so different to what I understand that I could not even begin to follow the most basic ideas about them. I could sense nothing from the stone of Nimbus. I am not sure why.
To be perfectly honest, at this point I considered attempting to attune to one of the stones the Father brought with him. Most probably the stone of Champion-Martyr. But then, looking closer, I saw the depths of the insanity lurking in it, combined with the light, and instantly decided that this was not a good idea, certainly not the way forward for me.
But regardless. With all of the stones now present, the repair and improvement of the universe was then discussed. How its current state might be changed, and hopefully improved.
The Father indicated that we should look to personal problems and tragedy arising from 'the way things are'. Who we are, and where we wish to go. Concentrating on how those things might be improved as the Tree of Life is repaired is, apparently, the way to impose those changes on the universe as a whole.
The Tree will apparently learn from our wishes and react accordingly, which will in turn restructure everything in kind. Physical changes to the Tree are irrelevant, only the desire to change things, and in particular the desire to change things arising from entities originated outside of the Jason entity, outside of the universe a whole, as a source of newness and originality.
The only issue I had with this suggestion was the question of what if one considers that 'the way things are' has, at least partly, made one what one currently is? If one is satisfied with the way one is, where, then, is the motivation to drastically change the way things are?
Of course, it was at this point that some of the cracks between us began to show.
Venus raised an entirely valid point. Namely, how will the inevitable differences and contradictions between we four be resolved? Could we even cancel one another out, or make matters worse?
However, she put her point in such a twisted and hostile manner that I had to respond. Give her a well-earned piece of my mind.
Of course, she took this in as mature a fashion as I might have expected.
Venus claims, in her own sweet way, that she has a calling. Apparently the universe creates 'guardians' for those it deems might be a danger, through their genius and its associated madness, to itself. Living safeguards to serve the 'universal good'. Stabilising, sensible influences, who stop them going 'too far'. And Venus is Bleys'. As Ashanah was to father.
According to the Father they are guardians specific to the madness of the line of Clarissa's male descendants. However, Venus refused to say more on the matter, despite my appeal to let us know what we might be including or rejecting from the new universe. She claimed that saying more would cause 'things' to become 'undone', though she refused to provide any further elucidation on why this might be so. Oh well, without a good reason not to look into it further, I shall most certainly be investigating this further when the time allows.
I must say that I was affronted, insulted even, by Venus daring to compare herself with my - our - mother. How dare that person compare herself to Ashanah?!
Let alone by her assertion that because of what happened to mother we therefore hate what she is - rather than dislike her, herself - and because of this would entirely remove the concept of these 'guardians' from the universe. She even had the temerity to claim in response to one of my statements that I was a spoilt and whiney brat, rather than herself! I think not! Such a statement was not even worthy of dignifying with a response!
Please, Venus, get over yourself! Regardless of how much I may dislike you, you are by no means worth destroying the universe over!
But still, I felt the need to make a token apology for my words. What comes of it all, we shall just have to see.
I wonder. If I carry on along this path sufficiently far, will I gain one of these 'guardians'? Could, perhaps, Samiel have been sent to me for that purpose, that role, in collusion with my Lust? Perhaps. We shall have to see there, too...
And also, I wonder, are these 'guardians' created or sent by the Spikards and Sarithi? As part of their attempt to keep the universe as a whole in balance? An interesting question. It would certainly appear to make sense, to fit in with what they said, and also with how Venus described the powers that come with this 'guardianship'. Ones that, to her, are more powerful then any that I could have learned. That require a specific attitude - one that according to her I do not possess - to learn...
The thought also occurs, based on all of this, that Bleys might well be doomed. If Venus is meant to be his anchor in reality then he will, I suspect, soon be adrift on the tides of her idiocy and delusions. Oh well. One more problem to deal with if and when it arises.
If there is one thing I regret regarding my little spat with Venus, it is that I so misinterpreted her words. Admittedly, they were very unclear, and I interpreted them as best I could based upon the knowledge I had at the time. But still, I was very wrong. I thought she meant her impending motherhood rather than her present guardianship.
But even so, would my knowing this in advance have significantly altered events? I think not.
Still, it is a pity that the Father would not let her leave when she wished to. Things might have been so much easier had he done so.
Instead he had us tell each other of each other, so that we - and more importantly Iris, the only one of us not to be scarred by life in some manner - would know each other and how we fit into all of this.
He himself also had further revelations regarding ourselves. Apparently father's wish for 'strong, smart, talented children' was reflected throughout shadow by his will, and his use of the Pattern, and both Iliskos and I were shaped by this, although in different ways.
It seems that Iliskos had a less than perfect existence in her home shadow. Lost a greatly loved husband, and sank into bloodthirsty madness for a while, until she was saved in some manner. And from this she knows of madness, enough to understand the need for it to be controlled that Venus has made such an issue of. Such a pity that she should have had such a hard life. But still, I imagine she would not, as I would not, change it. It is what has made her what she is.
Venus' description of herself was brief. Much briefer than that of anyone else, perhaps out of secrecy, perhaps out of simply having had a much duller life than the rest of us. She was raised in shadow, ignorant of her heritage, and lived there for some hundreds of years before being recovered by Random and Bleys, walking the Pattern, doing, as far as she said, very little during Patternfall, and becoming Bleys' student (and now lover). It is a pity that Random seems to have spurned her. With a little more care she might have been a very different, and much more useful, person. Apparently she wishes to learn all there is to learn. In this, given the constantly expanding current state of the universe, and the fact that I, at least, hope to keep it that way, if not make it more so, I expect she will be disappointed. Oh well.
Iris, on the other hand, seems to be a much more reasonable and open person, telling us far more of herself than Venus despite long training against divulging any personal information. She is the daughter of Finndo, raised in the secret realm of De'alund, based around the Fire Pattern Finndo modified (or, as she put it, the Pattern he created; precisely which of these two descriptions is correct I have yet to learn). She apparently knows nothing of her mother, which seems a little odd to me, but such is the way of it. She has, since coming to Amber, fallen in love with and married Drathgar, a Chaosian, from whom she received her Spikard as her wedding ring. I quite admire her having cut short her honeymoon and planned start of a family to come and deal with matters here, but I suppose, like myself, the fate of the universe has a higher priority than, and will sometimes come to override, personal preferences.
It is strange. I had assumed, based on her actions and opinions, that Venus was much younger than myself. But it would appear that this is not the case. That she is, in fact, in the region of twice as old as I! How odd, then, that ones behaviour can be so ... de-coupled ... from ones subjective age.
Is it because she was living in a single shadow for so long? I should say not. Iliskos, raised in similar circumstances, certainly shows no sign of Venus' many negative personality traits, though from what she has said she has been no saint in her time. So it must be Venus herself, for whatever reason.
I would certainly like to know, but I cannot say I really care.
But there we all are. Now, shall we begin to repair the universe?