It was quite a fresh and pleasant night in Amber as I left the Hall following the discussions regarding the Universal Academy.
As I did so I could not help overhearing two voices speaking Thari, one with a Chaosian and one with a Divinian accent. Proteus, also known as Kelric, the God of Shapeshifting, and Chronos, God of Time. Proteus is, it seems, a Chaosian by birth and considers that part of him more significant than his godhood. But regardless, it was quite clearly set up to allow me to overhear what was being said, so I did not attempt to listen covertly, but instead simply stood nearby to do so.
Despite its being staged it was still a most interesting conversation.
Kelric and Chronos spoke of time travel, in the shadow-crossing manner that Rinaldo and I have discussed in the past, as well as by other means, such as that which father used via the Tessaract.
Chronos spoke of diaries he had read in the far future (such a strange use of words, to speak of things in ones personal past although they take place in the actual future), in a time when everyone of this time is dead and the worlds are 'spinning down to nothingness'. Frighteningly far into the future. But not the end of everything, so he said. Chronos claimed that a new universal structure was forming then, from what he said based on my ideas, as stated in the meeting with Abyss and Yggdrasil. Fascinating. If also rather ... frightening.
Proteus also 'let slip' that the great beings - such as himself? - are in fact born in the future but raised in the past. An interesting concept. Very interesting. But what does it have to say about pre-destination? It seems to imply that such must exist, otherwise there is, from what was said, a significant change of paradox...
Chronos was more than a little concerned that Proteus would 'let slip' too much information, thus influencing me, and the world, too much. Kelric acknowledged this, but apparently he indirectly owes me a small favour due to something I do through Cerebaton, after he, Anntha and the Gaia Construct (whatever that might be - something to look into, I think) use what they learn at the Universal Academy to together create a new kind of life. For some reason this does him a great favour that he is honour bound to repay.
Well, far be it from me to turn down a source of information simply because it is ... disturbingly convoluted.
It is ... disconcerting .. to hear myself talked about in this manner. Of things I have not yet done. I am not sure I like it. But it is also truly fascinating. And could perhaps become too much so, to the point of spending so much time considering the future that there is none left to consider the here and now...
It was at this point that Chronos faded away, leaving Proteus alone to talk to me.
But he did not seem to be entirely in touch with current events, perhaps slightly unsure where he stood with reference to events he knew had occurred, such as Cerebaton's constructing his own physical body. And also with regard to my descendants. Apparently when he meets me in the future, he is younger then he was at this point in time, and I will have a few generations of descendants. Cerebaton will also have had children. Interesting, if also slightly disturbing.
I did ask him whether, because of this, his knowing all of this, events are pre-destined or can give rise to paradoxes.
From what he said he shapeshifts through time in some manner, and in a manner that renders paradoxes (paradoxii, perhaps?) impossible, as events reshape themselves to prevent them. Apparently pre-destination is 'silly' because of that same fluidity of time. He claimed he could explain no further than that as I do not have the powers to enable me to comprehend even the basic concepts. Apparently it was no aspersion of my intelligence, but that I simply do not have the senses and abilities to appreciate what he says. Oh well. Even if annoying to be so limited!
Regardless, his words did still imply, to me, that there is some form of pre-destination, that the universe has an overall shape - within time itself - to which it does its best to conform. He pooh-poohed this, not entirely unreasonably given my lack of understanding of the topic, but refused to explain or elaborate any further, much as I might wish he would.
He also mentioned that there is one person in the (my) present time who can shapeshift sufficiently well to be capable of learning to shapeshift but dimensions and space, although he does not (will not?) understand the time-shifting element. Kelric claimed that his son will learn to shapeshift space more effectively, but only Kelric - the grandson of the man from this time, perhaps - will be able to shift through time. He did not actually say that he was the grandson of the person from this time, to avoid disruptions, but I suspect it must be himself of whom he spoke.
In addition to these facts alone, the revelation that it is possible to shapeshift non-physical things was very interesting in and of itself. However, Kelric did state that not all methods of shapeshifting can do this. He recommended that if I was interested in learning more I speak with Lord Cesta of House T'Cobay, as he is greatly skilled in the arts of shapeshifting. I recall him from his recent presence in Amber, though I admit I do not know him terribly well. However, Kelric claimed that he will, in time, write of me in his diary. Another interesting item of pre-knowledge, and one more thing to fit into my schedule when I have the time...
And with that, he began to concentrate. Even with my Aleph Sight I simply could not make out the details beyond a confusion of shifting, although I could see that things around him were altering. He claimed that he was shapeshifting 'some of the local events and time' to ensure that matters in Amber play out 'just the tiniest bit better', lessening some future damage to Amber and her people here. His really is quite an alarming power, even without pre-destination...
In response to a question of mine regarding any information on time travel that I might understand, Kelric stated categorically that I would be unable to alter fathers madness even were I to master travelling in time. Apparently his actions have been 'locked in place' by his own knowledge following the agreement he made with the Tessaract, and that knowledge also helped to drive him to insanity.
To be honest, that was not something I was even considering, given my previous discussions with Rinaldo on the subject, and my further thoughts on the matter since then, such as the impacts any such meddlings might have on the histories of the likes of myself, Iliskos, Rinaldo and Cerebaton. Let alone what Kelric described as 'the largest disturbance wave since the creation of Pattern in the first place', which is probably something to be avoided.
Father apparently paid for the knowledge he gained and submitted to the will of the Tessaract because he and it thought that one of the possible alternatives to his doing so would be much worse. Fathers performing the thirty or forty actions that he did - one of which was spilling Martin's blood upon the Primal Pattern - produced the disturbance wave that Kelric claimed disrupted and killed off a number of dark things trying to open the way for the Champion and the Chimera to return.
I agree with Kelric that what happened is probably a preferable option to them becoming free. It is just a pity that the price was so high. But I suppose it is good to hear that father did not sacrifice himself on some mad course of attempted universal domination, but instead to altruistic ends. To save everything else. I look on him even more fondly now, knowing this. Always assuming, of course, that it is true...
One thing Kelric also stated was that not even he can alter things that have been done directly by a Power. Not things done by the users of the Powers - those he can alter - but things done by the Powers themselves. Something to bear in mind, I suppose.
He also mentioned that my research into time travel being carried out in Ensilarum will yield the answers I wish, and the protection I desire. This is a good sign, I suppose, though he refused to say more beyond that. Still, that was more than sufficient...
One last piece of advice he gave, which he claimed would 'make a few things easier', was to not restrain myself so much. He claimed that in time I will trust others and require that they trust me in return with, in addition, an emphasis on trusting from ones gut (as it were) rather than ones head alone. Apparently at some point the facts will be telling me that a person is false but my heart will know better, requiring this trust on my part.
I dutifully noted this, though I added the entirely true comment that there are many whom I trust. Simply that few of them are powers in the universe, such as members of the Royal Family of Amber...
He questioned my conviction regarding such. How far I would trust Raphael, Gabriel, Khelladon, Samiel, Gabrielle, the Annthas and Cerebaton? Apparently one of them may well seem to have betrayed me when in fact they will have not. Apparently a leap of faith will be required, leading to my having a better life afterwards. Well, I suppose it will be slightly less of a leap of faith now I know it is coming. As long as there are not multiple apparent betrayals scheduled for the future, in which case choosing the correct one to disbelieve might be difficult...
But still, as I further pointed out, all of the named individuals, apart from Cerebaton, who I do trust implicitly, all qualify as the powers of the universe that I mentioned. And so I cannot but think that I do not trust them, simply because of who they are.
So my future will be much like life for normal people, then, I suppose. Though Kelric claimed that this would only be so within reason, as normal people only rarely have the our level of powers. I think perhaps he slightly missed the point there. As far as I can see, normal people may not have the powers that we do, but that implies, to me, that their leaps of faith are thus even greater than those of the likes of ourselves.
And he most certainly did not like my slightly sarcastic tone when I commented on this!
In response to it, he also claimed that he does not even try to pretend to be all knowing and wise. Instead, he said he is an 'empowered meddler of the worst sort', trying to improve the universe as best he can. This did not exactly increase my confidence in him!
He further claimed that he should get credit for his efforts, if not necessarily for his results. Which is perhaps a fair point, but I cannot help thinking that results count for more than even the best of intentions... Though apparently good intentions can keep you out of one of the Hells that apparently exist.
Apparently I have a jolly conversation with Bastet scheduled. Who, Kelric says, 'for all her bark does have a lot of bite'. I shall attempt to contain my enthusiasm.
Apparently she objects to the course I am currently charting as a new deity, because it deviates from the godly norm. For example, apparently my not rushing out to establish a church even when pushed to do so worries her. But at least, from what Kelric says, other powers can replace the Power of Faith to run the Aleph, which bodes well for my current research.
I tried to explain to Kelric that my current lack of any church perhaps arises from a lack of power-hunger on my part. Or perhaps due to a lack of time to set up such a thing. Or, indeed, perhaps due to my ignorance of Divinian culture. Still, we shall see, I imagine, when the time comes to talk to Bastet.
One things that Kelric did explain was that most deities are very focussed, to the point of being unable to see the 'big picture' - a form of metaphysical 'tunnel vision'. Their churches, in addition to being a source of Faith, are actually a form of mediation between themselves and individuals who are less focused on one idea then themselves. That being so, I can certainly see why a deity might then need followers, and a church, if they are actually incapable of interacting with non-deities in a normal fashion!
In his case, presumably thanks to his non-godly origin - Kelric can see the bigger picture, which allows him to see the weakness of those many gods at the same time. Likewise my godly focus of learning will hopefully give me a wider view than most deities as everyone - every intelligent being - learns, at least to some extent.
As for Divinian culture, it sounds to me as if there is none. Instead, they are more of a collection of the customs of various singular individuals. The existence of pantheons despite this arises from the fact that some of the gods are related by blood as well as power, and pass their customs, culture and so on down to their children. From what Kelric said this also allows the sharing of worshippers to some extent, where a worshipper might follow multiple deities within the same pantheon whose areas of influence do not overlap. This must certainly have its uses...
And Kelric then, as so many people have in the recent past, recommended yet another person to organise my putative church. This time a man named Natasha. Who is currently in the Service of Evil! I did not exactly find this to be a strong selling point! Especially as I do already have people doing so! Sent by the Gods to do so!
Kelric did not sell this Natasha particularly well either. He claimed that Evil is more involved in bringing out the evil within a person so as to allow them to submit to or overcome it, and then working with Hades to inflict the 'proper' punishments on the person so as to exonerate it. Allegedly there are many people in the service of evil who are not evil themselves, such as many psychologists and psychiatrists. But still. No.
Additionally, the punishments of the Hell are apparently handed out by a Mephistopheles, one of Hades' subordinates. Despite the connotations of his name, Kelric claims that Mephistopheles has no interest in making deals with people, and so he makes it hard for them to do so. In fact he apparently has a great dislike of tempting people to evil himself.
And because there are so many Hells, and so much organisation is required in the work of individual rehabilitation that takes place in each Hell (and apparently much faster and better than they would in life, because the punishments inflicted, although sometimes vile, help people exonerate themselves as quickly as possible), then Evil is thus highly organised and in this context focussed on Order and Justice.
I see Kelric's point in all of this. But still. No.
And then Kelric had to depart. From what he said even a 'time shifter' such as himself has to submit to the press of events. Not a terribly good sign! Or perhaps simply an indicator of poor delegating skills?
As he was in the process of departing he mentioned that the survival of Queen Vialle to such a great age is another example of these paintings of Basil Halloward, much like the one Kheryakhet uses to protect herself. And it appears that that is also something that prevents Random from restoring her sight, something Kelric claimed was otherwise well within his power to achieve. This is a fair point, and is not something I had really considered before, but it is true that Vialle remains Queen, and youthful, at what is, for non-Royals, a very great age indeed.
One question I might have is, that being so, why Random did not choose to restore her sight before he froze her physical state using, presumably, some form of magical painting? An interesting question...
Perhaps, as Kelric mentioned, there is something to be found by investigating painting more deeply, or indeed locating this Basil Halloward and learning how he creates paintings like that. An Ideal Painting, so Kelric claimed.
Also from what Kelric said, I am only missing the Tessaract and Hieroglyphic Icons elements of the Ideal powers of the Muse. I initially thought that when he mentioned Hieroglyphic Icons he meant the power of Separation, but this is apparently not the case. Instead, Hieroglyphic Icons are something priests with granted powers possess, something given to them by their gods. Cerebaton concurs on this. Potentially interesting, and probably something else worth investigating when the time allows.
And then Kelric was gone, off to who knows where, and who knows when...
Leaving only peace and quiet, which I savoured for a short while.
Until it was interrupted by a flute-like instrument playing a small, comforting, tune from across the courtyard.
The source of the music was a blind man named Savarious Blaine, a former soldier of Benedict's. Originally from one of the families assigned to guard the Pattern, he is now an instructor and a player of music in the local Music College, and a sometime entertainer in Castle Amber. Also a father and a grandfather, with his daughter, Julia, taking his place in the Castle.
One thing I noticed about him immediately was that his Ideal was in conflict with his body, in that it was not blind. This was something that was well within the power of the Aleph to repair, but I wished to know more of him before I did so. So we talked.
From what he said he was a soldier injured and lost in shadow for years until rescued back to Amber. It seems, from what I sensed, that he was blinded by something similar to a flash grenade. He seemed eminently qualified for healing.
I was quite surprised to find that even after decades the mismatch between his Ideal and body persisted, but still, it meant I could make the attempt to heal him.
Despite his dire warnings of punishments should I claim to be able to heal him, then prove unable to, I was confident in my ability to do so, and proceeded. And succeeded, also. His sight was restored, to the great joy of all.
Despite their disbelief in my explanation of how it was done, being devout worshippers of the Most Holy Unicorn, he and his daughter Julia, who arrived soon after I was done, were happy with its effects. And I must say it felt good for me to have done it. Done something at a human level after such a long time acting and talking on so much more elevated planes.
One additional thing I did learn from them is that Savarious' comrade Gunther is immortal, having been made so by a dead god at some point in the past. Interesting, and something I might follow up to learn more of, in the fullness of time. We shall see...
Cerebaton is also wrestling with his burgeoning relationship with Anntha, in a manner that reminds me very much of a human teenager agonising over their first relationship. As is, I suppose, not entirely unexpected. Cerebaton is certainly growing up, and first love is a stage we must all go through at some point.
At the moment he is particularly worrying about becoming a step-father. Because part of Anntha - Triana - has given birth to Moira - he is having difficulties seeing how this affects their relationship. How he will fit into the existing set of relationships of which Anntha, Triana and Moira are part. And given that while he knows Anntha well, he has not, by his own admission, come to know Triana very well as yet.
One question that occurred to me from this is how close is the linkage between Anntha and Triana? Are they essentially one person with two bodies, in which case by knowing one you automatically know the other? Or are they more analogous to twins, where, in this case, one has gone a different way to the other, in which case you have to come to know each of them as a person in their own right? Certainly from what we saw at dinner, I suspect it is much more the latter than the former case. Cerebaton confirmed this.
Apparently they can both learn things the other knows even if they are basically two different people. They are not separate individuals or one person, but in some ways both. They can apparently remerge and share everything they are with each other - becoming one for a short time - and then return to continue their lives as separate people again. From what I have seen they emerge from this merging still as separate people, without it averaging them together, but Cerebaton was unclear on this. And I can see how it could make things difficult. For example, if only one of the two loved him before a merger, while afterwards both loved him, but each only half as much as before...
At the end of the day who would he be in a relationship with? Would it be Anntha, or both Anntha and Triana? And if they are different people, would that be a problem? Would he cause disagreements between the two of them? Not that relationships coming between close siblings is an entirely uncommon problem among humans, too, as I understand it. Cerebaton is rightly concerned about all of this!
However, I told Cerebaton that I did not think the possibility of complication should necessarily put him off, in the long term. After all, just as there is the chance it may not work, there is hopefully at least as good a chance that it will all work out! It may not be simple, but the prize should be worth the effort. Fortunately, Cerebaton agreed with me on this. And all of this is entirely separate from the fact that being what they are it is, unsurprisingly, hard to find normal humans that could be their equals in a relationship. However, from what Cerebaton said Anntha is his equal in many things and his superior in some. Interesting. I wonder what areas they are? Perhaps I - we - should consider some further upgrades.
Cerebaton's concerns regarding parenthood were made clear previously, when I suggested we engender more entities such as himself. But I suspect there is more to it here. The perennial problem, as I understand it, of a person entering a relationship with someone who already has a child, and how that relationship works.
To be honest, as I told Cerebaton, he is in a situation that I have never been in. Although I have been in relationships, they were never with people who were parents. If he cares for her, then I suspect that he and she will both have to work to make your relationship work regardless of the presence of children in it! That, after all, seems to be the way of things everywhere.
And at the heart of it, I suppose, is the question of whether Cerebaton could ever come to see himself as the father of Moira, even if not her biological father? And would she, in return, come to see him as her father? Cerebaton has investigated this among the people of shadow, and knows that some such relationships work, and some do not. And also that he is a completely different form of life to her, despite the body he is building for himself. This worries him, and I cannot say I would not also be worried under the same circumstances!
Of course, as I told him, I have no idea whether Moira will accept him as a step-parent or not. But the more important question is, is the chance of failure enough to put you off the whole enterprise? That is the crux of the matter.
And while it is true that Moira has more years of living as a human than he does, Cerebaton is more than capable of learning such. The best analogy I could discover for this was of their relationship being analogous to the cross-cultural relationships that happen among people, particularly in shadow, where each person comes from a very different world. As I understand it they learn, and cope. I am sure he - and they - can too.
I think Cerebaton saw what I was aiming towards, but still thinks the differences - him being a shadow, she a human - are very great. 'I cannot think of any way that this can be shown without making that person into a shadow like I am for a time,' he said.
A problem containing its own solution, as far as I could see. I suggested to him that if that is what it takes, then that is what he should do. Admittedly it may not be simple, but if it can be done, it might be worthwhile. And if it could be done I would certainly be interested in seeing matters from his perspective for a while.
And with Cerebaton seemingly comforted and satisfied with these answers, we parted for the time being...
As a side note, Cerebaton has decided that he does not wish to know the future. He considers that such knowledge can cause problems due to its affecting matters that have not yet occurred, yet which could bring about the very events one is trying to avoid.
A very fair point, though not one I am sure I agree with. I simply think operating from a basis of knowledge is better than not, regardless...