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Back to the diary entry for A Hunting We Will Go.
Despair makes me angry, bitter and sarcastic, it seems. Or perhaps it's just Tony. I am finding his cheerful stupidity, or ignorance, or whatever it is less and less pleasing as time goes by.
I can almost feel the blood curse eating at me. Making me less and less what I was. Losing it.
Is this to be my fate then, until this damned curse is lifted? Endless violence and suffering, dependent upon Dworkin for life itself? Until a family member (Unicorn, don't let it be Khortez) gives his life to lift the curse? Perhaps better I do it myself! Unicorn, here I am, contemplating suicide for the best of causes. I never thought that would happen, either. Unicorn, how depressing! Or ... is this just my overweening Amberite pride and arrogance speaking, railing against being affected by something that an infinite number of shadow dwellers have to live with every day?
I spoke to Duke Calen about what had happened. He took it a lot better than I anticipated. We discussed the situation. I promised to look after Thomas. I just hope I can do the job without screwing that up.
And Random also took it better than I might have hoped. Basically our chat ended up with me leaving for K'del to recover Winton's body.
Tony really is out of favour with his mother. It appears she is hunting him (and his wife) through shadow with an eye to bumping him off. At least, that's what it looked like when he Trumped me soon after I arrived in K'del, came through with an unconscious Adeira, and fell over. She came round long before he did, and we had a bit of a chat, once I introduced myself and overcame her initial suspicion. She actually seems quite a nice person. Far too good for the likes of Tony. So why did she marry him? Was it really love? Amazing. Or perhaps it's just a very long-term Chaos plan to some end of which we are currently unaware. Ah well, time will tell. And if it drops Tony right in it, tears may or may not be shed...
Well, we certainly gave him a hard time over the sacrifice she's made in the marriage.
Perhaps we're rubbishing Tony too much at the moment. But on the other hand, he does so deserve it now and again.
I wonder how Llewella will treat my rescue of Tony when she finds out about it (as she inevitably will)? And do I really care? Not really. That is, I suppose, one thing to be said about this curse - it is quite liberating. I say things to the elders now that I would never have dreamed of saying before. Of course, I may come to rue those words later, if this curse is ever lifted, but for now it is quite cheering, now and again.
And no more am I losing it, it seems, than in the matter of Inigo. Someone is meddling with him, and the other cats who are digging in the library. He has little cat-sized Trumps, of me, and other cats, given to him by a human, or so he says, though his brain has been tampered with to the extent that he cannot say who. And who or whatever it is, it's tampering with Inigo physically, too, beyond the walking of his hind legs, Inigo has thumbs now! Like a person. This implies a human may be behind what the cats are doing, not just giving them Trumps. A shapeshifter, perhaps? A human is messing with Inigo. A family member, it has to be. If I can find who it is, they will, I think, be sorry for doing so. Very sorry.
Inigo is not, it would seem, just my friend now. Now he works for someone else, too. He's demanding his rights now, claiming he's a liberated cat. Like cats were ever anything else! He was even touting for business from Sal, which is never a good sign.
Arran, at least, denies he was the one giving the cats the Trumps, and I'm inclined to believe him. But the Trumps are Inigo's - he got them back from me in a way I couldn't stop, like I could do with the Pattern. This is just not a good sign.
Cats with thumbs and a Pattern-like power (if not the real Pattern!). A worrying thought in a normal cat, let alone Inigo!
It would seem that, whoever is controlling the cats, and it must be a family member, or maybe a Chaosite, is using them as a front to get to the transport device thing they're digging up in the library. Might have dug up by mow, I suppose! But the question is, who?
Sal, at least, isn't concerned. A mistake on his part, I feel. This whole cat thing is taking on a new sinister dimension, where before it was just somewhat amusing. It is such no longer.
Just as long as these cats new attitude is not infectious to everything. There was a moment when my horse started acting up, just after Inigo left, that the thought did occur. Unicorn, I hope not!
K'del is in a sorry state indeed now, at least in the part near Duke Anders' castle. Black and horrible, with giant bats, wolves and strange cries in the dark. It has no moon or stars now, either, and it used to.
It was good to meet Khortez and, to a lesser extent Jay, as we rode towards Anders' castle in K'del, presumably to help with this same matter. I wonder if Sal enjoyed doubling up with Tony as rode on.
Apparently, so Khortez says, the natives of K'del are unconvinced that their world is, currently, doomed. They'll probably all die, then, as, I suspect, the rot will grow exponentially with time. Panic, fleeing and death, I predict. I could take a lot of them in Gotham, if necessary. It would be hard, but not impossible. If we need to, it'll be done.
And eventually, after a joyful night led through the night-time land of K'del by Tony and subsisting on some of my nutri-grain bars, we came to Castle Anders as the sky was lightening (I'm not sure it really deserved the classification of 'dawn'). The closer we got, the worse I felt, the blood curse biting in. Unicorn, but it was horrible. Nauseating. Even anti-nausea medication did no good. But I gritted my teeth and carried on. As, I feel, did Khortez and perhaps Sal. Tony and Jay were, of course, oblivious.
The castle looked like it had been left to rot for centuries, not just the month or so since I (I would have written 'we' there, but my conscience kicked in) killed Winton.
As we came in view of the castle, Khortez asked everyone to bring the Pattern to mind. We did, all except the still Pattern-less Tony. It felt wrong, like walls of paper, not steel as they usually are. At this point, Arran informed us that the Pattern of Amber is fading. Apparently in response to Winton's blood curse. Joy upon Joy. The blood curse again. And it's also affected Trump around here, too. That's all we - I - need! More guilt piled on my already guilt-laden head. And I think Khortez felt exactly the same. Although he does seem to have acquired a lot more knowledge of the Pattern since his long chat with Fiona, no-one had mentioned the current state of the Pattern to him.
I denied all knowledge (though I did know), doing my best innocent act. Until Inigo Trumped in and managed to point out that I did know before Trumping off again. Little bastard...
I somewhat regret not telling Sal what we were going to Anders' castle for, and did apologise. Oh well, I'm sure he's suffered worse than that. He'll get over it.
Tony volunteered to be sent up into the castle by magic and Trump the rest of us in. This was dismissed by Arran due to the Trumps being unreliable here - physically walking up was a much better idea. So while some of us discussed what to, and Khortez checked the place out somehow with the Pattern, Tony just wandered up there, and ignored any shouts for him to return. Cretin. Even Arran's psychological warfare failed, unsurprisingly.
I suppose it must be nice, being as impervious to thought, common sense and the opinions of all others as Tony is. Just living in ones own happy little world.
But he did get to the gate of the castle without being blown up. So the rest of us went to join him there. Tony came to meet us about twenty metres from the gates. Bloody hell, going that close to the castle hurt. Made the nausea before seem like a picnic. Like being eaten from the inside out. None of the others were so badly off, even Khortez, but only Tony was entirely unaffected.
I was really feeling the need for the same pick-me-up Dworkin gave us previously, but I didn't want to leave right then, certainly not without Khortez. All the others apart from Sal went into the castle. Sal, of course, got a body bag in short order and gave it to the party who went in. I just backed off, which helped a little, but basically just sat there feeling miserable and nauseous while the others did their thing, with Dworkin's Trump out to be used as soon as possible.
An unpleasant while later, the other four exited the castle, with a body bag. Joy. Let's go. But no, it couldn't be as easy as that, of course.
Apparently Tony used a power word on the body, one that gives it life force, and it blinked. The poor baby didn't want to get brains and maggots on his delicate lily-white hands. Unicorn! Yes Tony, we've just spent ages tracking this chap down, and killing him. Gaining the odd blood curse in the process. Having your tiny brain controlled by him to almost kill a family member. So yes, please Tony, bring this dangerous enemy of Amber back to life just as quickly as you can. Clearly that's the best thing we could ever do. Grrr!
And on top of this little piece of idiocy he then insulted me for not going into the castle with the others. I notice he didn't try making the same comment to Sal. I wonder why? Simple cowardice? Or just his tiny brain not thinking of it? Anyway, he was told where to get off. Not that it had any effect whatsoever on Tony's impenetrable fortress of stupidity, but it was somewhat cathartic. And Sal, at least, did something about the corpse, though for some reason Tony objected. A new body bag was in order afterwards, but Sal seems to have a good supply of them, so no problems there.
Before we took the corpse anywhere Khortez did suggest we be careful to avoid taking it, and any attached curse, to anywhere we cared about. Tony did suggest we take it to Gotham. This idea was treated with all the respect it, and its originator, deserved.
Winton's body was only decayed as much as the time that had passed, not the centuries the castle appeared to have aged. Another effect of the curse, perhaps? Or just to do with Winton himself?
We went to Robert's place by way of a Trump. Not to the capital of K'del fortunately, but elsewhere. Still, it was a relief to get away from that place when I went through. The effects of the curse dropped blessedly, though did not vanish. Then the corpse came through, and the nausea came on full force again. Urgh. Thankfully Robert was able to cast a spell to shield me from its effects, for a while at least, for which I was duly grateful.
The way things are going Tony is going to end up with his head cut off quite soon. Probably by me. Which would be vastly bad karma for me, but, at times oh so satisfying. How the mighty have fallen, indeed! Only a little while ago I railed against the great crime of murdering a relative. Now I contemplate the brutal murder of Tony for the light relief it brings me in the midst of all this.
We discussed what to do next. Tony asked if we should take the body to Amber. I stamped on this suggestion. Wasn't he paying attention?! The way my nausea came on again as the body came through the link, it looks like the curse does move with the corpse. Then Tony, in an amazing burst of sense, suggested we call Random. At this point Khortez threw in the point that Broken Pattern 17 (long thought destroyed, but the one Winton was somehow attuned to) was in Winton! Things just get more and more convoluted. How does one consume a Pattern, even a broken one?!
So I Trumped Random, not trusting Tony to the task at all. After some explanations, he joined us in K'del and had some kind of mystical 'look' at Winton's corpse. This seemed to have a negative effect on him, so he stopped doing it.
Various pointless recriminations flew about the place, as well as more explanations. Tony, again a little sensibly, asked why do we just not dispose of the corpse in the Abyss. Apparently Random has no dumping permit, so that idea was out! He did at least do something that shielded the curse off from me again, to my great relief.
I suggested we give the body to Dworkin.
And after discussion, that did seem to be the best plan - give the corpse to Dworkin and let him deal with it. Not that he was keen on the idea when we Trumped him. Once we'd made contact, Tony just Trumped off, in that way he usually has of avoiding being of much use to anyone and anything.
Has Tony mastered the art of bringing the dead back to life while we've not been looking?! Or is he just an idiot?
So we went through to Dworkin. He harangued us again about killing family members. Yes, thankyou Dworkin, but we have got the idea now, thankyou. Grrr.
Alas, Dworkin had no idea about how Broken Pattern 17 might have got into Winton, or how to get it out and put it back where it belongs. He had to ask us for suggestions! Yes, clearly we know more than you on the topic of Patterns, O drawer of the Pattern!
And then there is what Dworkin said. "The Patterns are not really sentient." What is that supposed to mean?! That they can appear to be so?
For want of anything better to do, Dworkin suggested we go and look at where Broken Pattern 17 was, and gave us the location. Then he gave Khortez, Sal and I reviving draughts. What a relief that was!
We also mentioned Tony's cunning use of a power word on the corpse. Dworkin told us that enough of those could revive the corpse (though it would need the holes in it fixed)! Is that comforting, that we could bring him back, or frightening, for the same reason? Still, Dworkin thanked us, and dragged the corpse off by the head.
So there we were. Khortez broke the silence by asking Sal about Winton's mother. Sal didn't reply, but instead concentrated upon a painting of Cabra hung on the wall. A Trump painting, it turned out, as he vanished through it.
After a little discussion, we followed, to find Sal gone, but Jopin watching from the top of the lighthouse tower. We waved and told him we were just passing through. He asked about a game of chess and Arran volunteered me. Well, all right, if we (I) survive.
It was though better to start our search out in shadow, so that we could start shifting right away. Random gave us a Trump of a jazz club with a crown and saxophone design on the back. Random's own? Revelation upon revelation!
Arran Trumped off. I asked him to send Inigo along if he saw him. Sal returned, Trumping in to Random. Khortez said that after we've had a look at Broken Pattern 17, he wants to talk to Cymnea. Although this is not, in itself, a bad idea, I think a little more thought needs to be applied before we do this.
The main thing is to find out how Winton came to internalise Broken Pattern 17. This is far over my head. Perhaps I should leave it to the experts. Not that I will, of course. I hope this is not a developing trend, powers and forces beyond our ken, but there do seem to be a lot of them these days.
We used Random's Trump and off we went into shadow. Khortez quickly found us a car, and off we went. I took over the driving after a little while, and turned the car into something a little more suitable - a sports space wagon. After a little Arran Trumped in. No Inigo, though. Then some cannon appeared along the sides of the car - for broadsides, presumably. Thanks, Khortez.
Arran, upon arrival, mentioned that he had talked to Fiona and Mandor about Broken Pattern 17. Apparently they both felt it destroyed, felt it die, even. However, there were shadow storms nearby at the time, so it was not investigated. How awfully convenient. But essentially, no-one knows how it was done. Fiona can't understand how Winton took the power - apparently, without another power to contain it (shapeshifting, perhaps) all kinds of bad things would happen to the luckless victim. If she knew how Broken Pattern 17 worked it might be theoretically possible.
As we travelled, we chatted about the deficiencies of Tony. That was more than enough to occupy our conversation until we reached our destination! Eventually we were close to the former location of Broken Pattern 17, and stopped while Khortez did something with the Pattern to search ahead of us. There are a lot of shadow storms here, and the entire place is devastated, with a great deal of debris scattered about. Not nice. Not reacting well with the blood curse, either. However, Khortez was able to assess a safe route in and guide us as we drove in to the site.
It was at about this point that Tony Trumped in to Jay. Joy. Now we are complete.
Jay suggested that Winton's body was an entire shadow in itself. Now there is (yet another) worrying thought). Was he real, or made especially to contain the Pattern? Well, the corpse has the blood of Amber. Khortez suggested that Sal had been genetically sampled in some way. Sal did not take this very well, surprisingly.
Eventually we reached where Broken Pattern 17 had been. Which was even less nice than the landscape on the route in. Wrecked, like a war zone or disaster area. But no signs of a Pattern, and no clues, unfortunately.
So, what to do now? We decided to split up. One group would go to find out what we could about Winton's mother, Sal's wife or girlfriend. One to do the same with Winton's wife, the ex-wife of the luckless Duke Anders (who, unfortunately, I never saw during my time in K'del, though Jay says she dropped out of the public eye roughly nine years ago). I did make one thing plain. I was not going in any group that had Tony in it. No-one really objected to this, fortunately, so the group hunting Winton's mother ended up as Sal and myself.
Off we went. I retraced the route out from Broken Pattern 17, replacing Khortez's cannon with machine guns, just in case, and then away into shadow.
Before too long, we found ourselves heading shadow Earth-wards, and ultimately arrived at a large cemetery, at dead of night, of course. We got out and searched around, quickly finding our quarry in one of the more imposing monuments, which, once we saw it, Sal remembered as the one. There were some details (not all of them, alas) in a briefcase that some helpful person had left behind the tomb - she was Margaret de batz-Castelmore, born 1895, died 1951. Not that means anything to me, given the great variation of calendars across shadow.
And now here we are, sinking to grave robbery. Or at least exhumation in the course of an investigation. Well, perhaps that's a little strong. We're unearthing Sal's girlfriend, Winton's mother, to see what we can find out from here. As to how we'll do, well, time will tell.
And there is, as yet, no sign that Dworkin lied about the difficulty of curing a blood curse. Dammit!
And it turns out Sal's grandson is in Chaos now, with his grandmother, Cymnea. Crap. All of us but Tony (and Jay, who as far as I know has never been there) are utterly persona non grata there after our debacle of a couple of years ago. Not that that'll necessarily stop us, of course, but it might be sticky if things went wrong (again). Perhaps we should just let Tony do it.
Of course, if he ever returns, I'm sure we'll be able to get Morgalin involved too. Perhaps we should send him in, even with the death sentence on his head if he ever goes back. His combination of combat skills and lack of common sense, backed up by Tony. What could possibly go wrong?!
And it turns out that Tony's new wife, Lady Adeira, is yet another child of Amber (and Chaos). She is, it appears, the daughter of Mandor, who is another son of Fiona and walked the Pattern when he came to Amber at about the time of the Blood Curse. Which makes him Arran's brother. I'm not sure which of them is luckier there. Of course, this now means that Tony is now Arran's nephew and Fiona's great-nephew!
This just makes me stand more and more by my earlier thoughts that you really can turn over any rock anywhere in shadow, and there's a good chance there'll be an Amberite under it...
I do wonder why Khortez is a pirate at all. Not for the money, that's certain - cash is just there for the taking out in shadow. Is it his hobby? Does he just enjoy it more than anything else? Does it define him somehow? Or does he do it for the magical loot he seems to find with great regularity? Perhaps I should ask him one day.
On to the diary entry for 'Tis a Far, Far Better Thing...' Part 2