Wish I knew more of what was going on. I feel like such an ignorant ... urchin ... compared to my - cousins? And I'm scared, too, of this whole affair which is way over my head, and feels like I'm putting my head in a noose. But I won't let the others see that. If I show weakness at least one of them will probably try to take advantage and that would be bad - for someone, me or them.
What if they're like the Oricarians?
What if they catch me?
But I owe Bleys. I suppose. And from what I've seen he must be better than I am, and could force obedience of he wanted to. Maybe. But has he pulled me away from Timashkurabad only so I can fight in a war I know little of?
But at least I'm stronger now than I was them. But that's just not very reassuring, somehow.
I don't really like appearing the helpless little mute girl to my - relatives. But if it helps me survive this, I'll play it to the hilt. And if it helps me to stick with Rayner or Willhelm (who seem nicest of those who've spoken so far), then good!
Gods, I could use a pint or two of gin about now, but I need my wits about me too much.