Well, I have now ... enjoyed ... my first Revive. What an interesting experience. Completely unlike sleep, although it feels much the same. It seems to be a shift in the focus of my mind, from the exterior world to the interior.
And what a strange world it is, though I do not know whether it is any strange now than it was before I stared into the Eye of Aleph.
There are, in the temples of my mind, people. Or at least entities. Apparently the smallest parts of my mind, which were apparently sufficiently small that they were missed when I integrated the various parts of my mind with the aid of Anubis' Aleph Lens. Lust - a rather strange entity, shifting from one gender to the other. Revenge - who is, quite oddly, male, and who appears as what I can only describe as a suave corporate businessman. Apparently he is related to Justice and Morals, which have already been internalised. Knowledge - apparently those parts of my history and knowledge which were too small to be seen in the Lens. Pride, seated upon a throne of power. Fear. Envy. Greed. Hunger. Rage. My 'dark side', I suppose.
And there is a hierarchy there. Knowledge rules, with Pride the Chancellor and Revenge as keeper of the peace.
Lust appears to feel itself under-utilised. It wants to get out more, keep me in touch with people. Help me relax, and improve the landscape of my mind. All interesting points, but I am not convinced that they are sufficiently good ones for me to surrender to lust in the fashion which it clearly desires.
And I was not terribly impressed with its attempt at bribery, claiming it has had 'relations' with Potential, another part of myself, and knows a secret about it which it is not willing to reveal until I agree to enjoy it more often. We shall see whether the matter is still a mystery once I have fully integrated all the parts of my mind with the full Aleph Lens. If so, then ... well, the secret is likely to remain so, alas...
Then came a great howling, which I am told was that of the beast of Self-Preservation. Apparently someone was approaching my recumbent form, and it was time to wake...
How strange that all of these little pieces of myself should manifest in their own forms and with their own personalities inside my own mind. Were they always thus, or has my gaining of the Aleph raised them into this state? I do not know.
And they appear to live their own lives, there in my head. With their own sense of time, which is very different to that of myself.
I wonder how all these parts of me acted before I assayed the Lens? Assuming they were all present then, were they all constantly chattering away, and my actions were the composite of whichever of them shouted the loudest at any given moment? Or a consensus which emerged from among them all? Perhaps!
How odd, to think of myself, and every other non-godly being, being nothing more than a composite of their many conflicting internal voices...
And always, so large in my mind, even when not at its forefront, the Orphanarium. So large, even now. Since the integration of my mind, I know it to be so. And I do not like it. Not at all.
But what can I do? To exorcise it in some fashion? Perhaps it is time for me to return to Verantium after so long. Perhaps play my father's role. Provide those inmates - those girls - with the means to, if they wish, gain their independence. To become strong. To become free.
Although I am not totally in favour of the idea, Lord Anubis' words on what Potential actually is - the combination of the powers of the Mother and the Father - have persuaded me that perhaps submitting to the wishes of my Lust is, after all, the way forward. And because of that, I have now acquired a bonus power, which is the secret my Lust held - the power of Potential. In myself, and, to a lesser extent, in others, and other things, too.
What new things this will allow me to do, to discover, I do not know. But it should certainly be interesting to find out! And perhaps it will be interesting and pleasant - rather than a chore - to give my Lust the increased attention it desires. Let us hope so...
Another strange sensation - the last few pieces of my mind slotting home as I stared into the Eye of Aleph, and it stared back into me. I certainly hope I have integrated all the parts of my mind. Again, no doubt we shall see...
I think I have, now, reached the ultimate stage of my Conjuration skills. I can now conjure things of, so far as I can tell, supreme puissance. Create Trump and spell processors. Upgrade Cerebaton once again. And my own spells and Conjurations. This should all be very useful.
I also have further insight into the Trump - imprinting Trumps into my mind or onto cards is now much easier, and requires much less preparation than previously. And I have discovered how to probe the spells and magics of others more discretely. I think the power of my mind has been increased by all of this, too.
Excellent.
The power of Potential to which my Lust has introduced me is an interesting one in its own right, too. A power of enhancing, centring, calm, with a few additional abilities to manipulate probability in a manner not unlike what I have learned of the power of the Pattern.
I was quite surprised when Cerebaton turned down an immediate upgrade to incorporate various if the things I have recently learned, assayed and had insight into. Apparently he wishes to wait until all of his changed, his new body, and all he has learnt from Anntha, are ready before incorporating them all into himself at once. One of these upgrades, learned from Anntha, will be a form of the Pattern, meaning that he will gain some of its power before I do. Ah well, we are not in competition, after all, and one hope I shall have the opportunity to assay it before long...
While I am sure he knows what he is doing, this mass upgrade is not the way I would have chosen to perform such a major upgrade. Certainly accepted engineering practise in most shadows indicates that a series of small changes, one after the other with assessment of their effects at each stage is a better way forward than adding in everything at once. And as such my upgrade package uses the same principle. Still, I have taught him much of what he knows. Perhaps the upgrades he and Anntha are planning are based on the same incremental principles...
And it seems he has also learnt a great deal from Master Tarn, too. From scanning him and learning from what he observed as Master Tarn regenerated, applying a modified version of this learning to his own body. Certain parts - Pattern-based ones, for example - do not translate, but, in general, it seems that there is a great deal of applicable knowledge.
I certainly remain most pleased at his continuing progress.
One of the parts of the Aleph which I have been practising is the ability to shift the Ideal, and thus the properties, of shadow as I use the Ideal to shift myself. A most interesting ability, and one I have now used in Ensilarum to expand the powers which cannot access it to include the Aleph itself. I hope that I did it correctly. I believe I did, certainly, but we shall, no doubt see...
While I was in Ensilarum modifying the place to be impenetrable to the Aleph, I also spent a little time searching for the Pattern-enhanced nanotechnological bugs Caine and Abel mentioned they had introduced there. I must admit I was quite shocked to discover that they are as common there as normal house dust. It appears that there is, at present, no privacy to be had in Ensilarum at all.
However I believe I shall, for the moment, do nothing beyond subtle investigation of the bugs. Once I have learned all I can of them, then we shall see what may be done to deceive them. Entirely removing them, while probably possible, would probably also be unwise, as I am sure Caine and Able would then introduce some new means of spying on me, which I would then have to work on detecting from scratch.
Another thing I intended to do in Ensilarum was speak to the Ticktockmen regarding the sword they discovered, which turned out to contain Arestis. To thank them for their efforts. I discovered that, in this, they had anticipated me, and that a representative, one Arius, was already present in the Palace. I was quite happy to thank him for their efforts, though from his words their giving the sword to me was at least partly because they feared its power, considering it, not unsurprisingly, a possible trap. I asked Arius to ask the Ticktockmen to investigate further the place where the sword was found. Perhaps there are clues to be gained there. At least, I hope so...
I have also taken the opportunity to practise the Aleph scrying which is part of the new power I am initiated into. When I was confident in my new abilities, I used the power to ask if, as Osric had previously stated, Eric was the individual responsible for what happened to mother, and thus father. The answer was an unequivocal 'Yes', unfortunately.
Now wbat shall we do? I do not know as yet.
That scrying led me on into more general predictions of the future. These seem to confirm what all the other prophesies, including Anubis' Book of the Muse, imply - that a great change is coming, one way of the other. Will we be able to influence this? I do not know...
I wonder. Could I build a device capable of using the Aleph and the Trump to scan the future and perceive coming trends? A 'Prognosticator'? I do not know, but if so, incorporating such abilities into Cerebaton might be very advantageous...
And so, back to Amber...