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I was going to ask Cuchulainn, Adam and Taranis for some advice regarding what to do about the ... side-effects ... my wedding to Lillith might cause. I wasn't intending to ask Nicobrus or Ishmael for advice, though for different reasons. I didn't want to involve Nicobrus in what is essentially an in-House problem. While Ishmael ... I just don't think that Ishmael would have contributed anything useful to the discussion. Does anyone like him? Other than the equally crazed Lady Yallia that is? He can be such a ... git ... sometimes, it's amazing.
But Dara pre-empted me by telling me her version of what the arrangement of my marriage to Lillith really involved. It all seems to come down to political expediency, to which my mother attempts to be more resistant than most.
Data told me that apparently Bartok Imbrex proposed to Lillith, but Helibore (I very much doubt Lillith was involved in the decision) chose Sawall as we offered them more. Not that I'm more important than Bartok, of course, just that Sawall is a more powerful house. Again according to Dara, my marriage to Lillith will buy Sawall immunity from Helibore in the political manoeuvrings which are to come as the process of choosing a new monarch takes place. Apparently they are a House of somewhat honourable assassins and will turn down any commissions against Sawall once the marriage takes place. If Bartok married Lillith instead, Imbrex would have enjoyed that protection, and thus they had to be stopped.
If true, Dara's words make me much happier about this wedding than I was previously, after mother told me her version of events. Rather than its opening the door for a blood-bath it will be helping to protect my House from others who might threaten it. Helibore will be hiring themselves out regardless, and this way, at least, Sawall will be safe. I just hope Dara was not deceiving me. If my wedding did turn out to be the signal for the start of a Sawall-sponsored blood-bath I'm not sure I could stand it...
Dara did warn me that others might draw the same conclusions about the wedding as mother did; unavoidable I suppose. At least she seemed to be supporting me by implying that Sawall would give me aid in the event of any trouble. Obviously I should be wary of Imbrex now; they won't be too happy about my marrying Lillith rather than Bartok.
At least Lillith still seems to think that everything will be all right in the end, though she does think there is more to it than Dara told me. Why does it not surprise me that I'm not being told everything? Experience, perhaps?
On the subject of Lillith, Dara said that she is also independent-minded, and did not care for Bartok, whereas she seems to care for me. That, at least, makes me happy.
Dara also pointed out that her marriage to Gramble was also arranged (into the first House which would accept her after the war with Amber, she said), but that she is now glad of her wedding. I hadn't considered that, and it makes me a bit happier to realise, both that my situation is not a unique one, and that it can work. And she gave me her word that what she had told me about the reasons for my marriage was so, which was fairly ... comforting. Even so, I still have some doubts. I do seem to be becoming less trusting as time goes on. Not a development I'm sure I like.
I should really set about obtaining a proper engagement ring and wedding ring for Lillith, though I am reluctant to ... spurn Taranis' generosity by replacing the ring she gave me. Oh, the joys of impromptu engagements! Still, I wouldn't change anything, even if I could.
I gave up protesting at the actions of the Sawall side of my family when it became obvious that it did no good whatsoever. I had hoped I might get better results with the Amber side of my family, but no. Now that events have proved me wrong I suppose there is no point in antagonising them further by continuing to protest their actions.
Lord Valor caused something of a stir at the presentation of Michael to the assembled masses, during the gift giving, when he mentioned Vialle's true parentage. Although he tried to smooth things over, I wonder what wheels his 'casual' admission has set in motion? I hope nothing which will cause further disruption in Michael's life, but I fear otherwise, alas.
I'm sure that Taranis and Ishmael were somehow involved in Tir Na-Nog'th's remaining in the sky over Amber into daylight, but they seem very reluctant to talk about it. Talking to my father confirmed that they were responsible, but he told me to ask one of them for more details. Oh well, one more mystery on top of all the others should hardly be an intolerable burden to bear...
And then Julian called us (but not Lillith, for some reason) to a set of Chaos barrows deep in Arden, which, apparently, Lord Valor had been searching for for quite some time. I felt uncomfortable about entering the barrows as we did - disturbing the bodies entombed there - though not as bad as I might have expected. Perhaps it was my Sawall upbringing. Perhaps the lack of evidence of any such feelings on the part of the other Chaosians there rubbed off on me. Perhaps it was Nicobrus' doing the actual opening of the barrow. Perhaps I'm just becoming more hardened to such things? I hope not.
I must admit that the fact of the barrow's having been built at least partly to hold a Key of the Serpent (apparently the one used to anchor the Amber end of the Black Road) did not help to enhance any bad feelings I might have had about opening it. Nor did Valor's attempt to prevent Amberite entry to the barrow by invoking the "Chaos war graves are Chaos territory" argument. This is probably not too valid when your graves are on the territory of those who defeated you (unless they've said it's valid, I suppose, though I don't know whether that is so in this case). The way it was being so cynically used for political ends in this case did not endear Valor to me. Nor did it make this ... custom ... seem much more, in my eyes at least, than a cynical excuse for (attempted) land-grabbing.
I was impressed that someone was able to make such a large and complex artificial Shadow construct in the middle of Arden, during the Black Road war, without Prince Julian, at least, noticing. Why he asked us to come and assist him in opening the barrow when Prince Bleys was there, and all of Valors group of searchers, is another interesting question. As far as events proved, we were all entirely redundant.
I also find it very hard to believe that it was mere coincidence that the builders of the barrows assembled their Shadow fragments so that the Key of the Serpent was directly adjacent to the hiding place? Tomb? Of whatever it was, by accident. It's just far too convenient. We only have the scrawled word "Teratos" as a clue. Not that anyone knows (or is admitting) what it means, of course! Perhaps some sort of twisted or warped thing?
The fact is that whatever it is, it seemed to influence at least one of the Chaosians there, Lord Nyder, into attacking another, Lady Thelema. Perhaps "Teratos" refers to the ability of the imprisoned thing to warp and twist others to its own ends?
I also wonder who the dead Sawall we found in the barrow was? They only seemed to be a retainer, but even so... Seeing their dead body there was the only time I felt a true pang of conscience at trespassing in the barrow.
Cyprian (whoever he may be; was he really once Dworkins apprentice?) seems to know something about "Teratos", but because of the time he spent hanging on the Daolbh Craobhach he remembers nothing in detail. He certainly seemed to come out of his coma at the same time we found the pit where "Teratos" was imprisoned. Presumably he will remember when he walks the Pattern, but I can't help feeling that when he does so he will just disappear off, not to be heard from for a long long time. He was certainly insistent that he walk the Pattern after awakening, though he was eventually persuaded not to do so until he was more recovered.
Dworkin, who appeared while we were talking to the just-awakened Cyprian, did not help. He seemed very cryptic and erratic - he said that Cyprian couldn't walk the Pattern, and then that he should. Even apart from his strange behaviour, it was very ... weird ... to meet such a near-legendary figure, creator of the Pattern and all that. And my great-great grandfather, too. Perhaps that is the strangest part of all!
Not, of course, that this stopped Cuchulainn from hugging him anyway. And being bodily put to one side by him. I hope being so casually dismissed did not bruise his ego too much.
Adam's comment when I tried to help him while he was being attacked by the invisible thing in the shadow pocket around the prison of "Teratos" was utterly un-called for. Why would he be deliberately hurtful like that? Was he being deliberately hurtful, or was he just being utterly thoughtless? And why was he summoning the Pattern while he was being attacked by the invisible thing? Presumably not to stop the thing hurting him, as he got badly clawed by it while being stupidly unheeding of getting injured. So why? To stop me helping him with the Logrus? Why? Did he want the thing to hurt him? Or does he just disdain me or my help so much? And if so, why?
And with the latest news from Chaos it now it seems that Lord Valor of Jesby, the Chaos Ambassador to Amber, may be the next King of Chaos. This follows the withdrawal of his father, Tmer, from the succession. But Valor is hardly an improvement over Valdemar Fengyre given that he seems even more implicated in Cymnea's plotting against both realms than Valdemar was. All of my previous reservations about swearing loyalty to Valdemar apply even more strongly to Valor. And Dara did say that we should beware of Jesby. So, what to do, what to do?
It would be interesting to know why Tmer withdrew from the succession in favour of Valor. Was it as a result of Valors machinations? Or Cymnea's, even from beyond the grave? Or machinations by Sawall? Or even fear of what my wedding to Lillith might bring? Am I ever likely to know?
One thing I should make sure of is that there will be no repeat of the challenge to Valdemar Fengyre, with Valor as the target, at my wedding.
I was more than a little surprised when Bartok Imbrex showed up at the Hospice to personally try and dissuade me from marrying Lillith. I feel obliged to at least listen when members of my own family tell me how I should run my life. But when unrelated people start doing the same, it all becomes a little too much, especially given that he was to be betrothed to Lillith as an alternative to me.
I must admit that I was less than civil with him. As bad as it is of me, it did feel good. By the Serpent, I've had about enough of people giving me their opinions on this wedding, what it will lead to and/or entail, blah blah blah. Perhaps I shouldn't have insulted the heir to House Imbrex like that. But for once I was just so angry. As if my life wasn't manipulated enough by members of my own family, without Imbrex stirring the pot too.
Anyway, come the Festival of the Serpent, I'm going to marry Lillith, and to the Abyss with Bartok Imbrex and the rest of them! I want to, now, and if Mandor wants this wedding to take place, then it well, so everyone might as well get used to it. I suppose, too, that even if turns out to be wrong, this decision ultimately belongs to Lillith and I, and I'm damned if I'll relinquish it!
The wedding of Nicobrus' grandfather and Varia Krailin is also taking place on the day of the Festival of the Serpent, some time after that of Lillith and I. I hope Nicobrus is happy at the wedding, and I hope that, perhaps, Lillith and I will be able to attend it after our own.
I invited various people to the wedding; even if I haven't been consulted yet, they are going on the list. I was more than a little rude to Ishmael, though, when he asked me about bringing a guest to the wedding. I know that the guest he would bring would be Yallia of Hendrake, and I am not having that woman at my wedding. So I told him that, no, he could not bring a guest. And so he declined to come. I did not act ... very disappointed; almost the reverse in fact. I must admit that that was mostly relief, because I only invited him out of politeness. Perhaps not very nice of me, but given how rude he's been to me in the past, on occasion, he'll just have to live with it.
At least Despil has confirmed all of my additions to the wedding list without question or objection. That was somewhat gratifying.
I just hope that mother can be restrained from causing any trouble or embarrassment at the wedding, especially to Taranis or Martin if they attend (as I hope they will). I understand how mother might be jealous of Taranis, but I will not let her use it to spoil my wedding! Of course, given how she objected to the wedding in the first place, I might wonder what else she may have planned, or if she will even attend...
I should talk to her before the event.
I do wonder, too, what status Martin is going to be accorded if he comes to the wedding? Will he be acknowledged as my father, or as just a visiting Amberite? I think it may have to be the former. Perhaps I should combine acknowledging him as my father with renouncing any claims I might be construed to have on any thrones my Amberite heritage could be considered as qualifying me for.
Adam is someone else I have really only invited to the wedding out of politeness. The more I see of him, the less I like. Beneath his usual pleasant facade I sometimes feel there is something cold, and calculating, and uncaring; almost malevolent, in fact. Perhaps, I imagine, like a young Mandor might have been - now that is an alarming prospect.
It sometimes seems to me that he wishes everything would dance to his tune and that if only everything else would just realise that, and do so, he would be much happier.
Even Ishmael never comes across as so ... disturbing.
At least he is useful for drawing Trumps, and hopefully, with his help, I will soon have my own means of quickly travelling between Amber and Chaos under my own power. In return he wants me to find out about Dybbuks, and those who are the experts on them in Chaos. A fair exchange for what he is doing for me, I suppose... Especially now that, according to Dara, Sawall is warded against Dybbuks.
And on the subject of Dybbuks, apparently the Dybbuks who attacked at Despil's investiture were originally allied with House Barimen, before the Pattern was drawn. Lord Suhey found that the ones involved in the attacks were bound long ago by someone of House Barimen to perform some unspecified service, but only recently given their instructions. The originator of the scheme was Oberon or some close relative (the Dybbuks memory of Oberon, Lord Suhey and Fiona found was a apparently a racial one) - a member of House Barimen or a Knight of the Eclipse (probably the former).
More comforting news. The evidence just seems to be mounting and mounting that Oberon (my great-grandfather!) has returned. Just what we need at this point.
Lastly, apparently some of the others have discovered a rather interesting city by the name of Meridian, which lies roughly mid-way between Amber and Chaos. From the descriptions, it would definitely seem a place worthy of further investigation. I wonder if Chaos Ambassador there would be a viable post for me? Certainly it would get me (and Lillith?) out from under the thumbs of both Chaos and Amber!
This is worth looking into further, I think...