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Well, victory of a sort I suppose. Dalt has been crowned King of Amber, and despite all the problems which could have arisen the transfer of power seems to have gone smoothly. Eric and Julian have had their days on the throne, and seem to have given it up without rancour. All well and good.
We all swore allegiance to Dalt. Even me! My reasons for doing so remain fairly confused. The consequences of not swearing seemed to vary with who I talked to, though in general fairly bad. Dalt himself was not able to fully assuage my worries. Did I swear because I was I afraid of the consequences of not doing so, then? I don't think that's entirely it. I know that swearing unswerving allegiance, handing your conscience and brain over to someone else, is just not the right way to do things, but the alternatives seemed even less acceptable. At least this way I have a chance of influencing Dalt if things start going in ways I don't like, whereas otherwise I wouldn't be included in decisions at all. I just hope I don't come to regret my decision. Still, I was intending to support Dalt anyway, this just formalises things as much as anything else. Of course, if I hadn't sworn, there was the chance I would have lost my welcome in Amber altogether. As it seems to be the only place I have that can even vaguely be called home right now this is not something I'd want to happen.
It would seem that Corwin may be my biological father. At least I seem to resemble him more than I do any of the other Amberites I have met. However, he claims no knowledge of me, and thinks that I am either the result of some casual liaison of his at some point, or was conceived during the time he was possessed by the Ciaron entity. Neither of these possibilities exactly fills me with joy, but I doubt I'll lose much sleep over them. He has been sticking fairly close to me during the coronation celebrations, but as long as he doesn't start thinking he's got some kind of right to control my life I find no real problems with his company.
We have just met a new member of the family, Gregory, the son of Eric. Like me, he was born in Corwins universe before its merging with the Amber universe. Despite being from a medieval shadow he appears (from my impressions so far at least) to be a fairly reasonable type, with qualms about gratuitous killing and a mind that isn't obsessed with honour and vengeance - thank the Fates! He also seems to be a fairly cheerful type, unlike Ruthven, Linfarn and Nemain, and so makes something of a refreshing change. The only potential problem for him is that he seems rather inexperienced of the universe outside his home shadow. Hopefully this will not cause him problems in the future. Gregory didn't seem to be have any problems enjoying himself at the post-coronation celebrations, but I was quite surprised that Nemain both attended and enjoyed the post-coronation party. I was half expecting her to either not attend or to play the wallflower the whole time. I'm glad she didn't! Even Ruthven was dragged away from his brandy in order to enjoy himself, and hardly seemed to be suffering.
After Julian became Regent, Linfarn and I got to talking about events before I met him, Nemain and Ruthven, such as the Coven War. No wonder there is such tension between him and Ruthven! I knew he was an ethical primitive, but this is even worse. Barbarism barely begins to describe it! This Guenevere woman seems no better, especially as she initiated it. Given that Linfarn describes her as a dear friend I suppose this should come as no surprise. I wonder if there is any limit to what he would do given the right motivation. Admittedly it seems Ruthven was pretty stupid in sleeping with a woman who was apparently one of the enemy, and Linfarns actions hardly stand out against the general events of the war, but even so! It just makes it more obvious that his talk of having a code of honour is just that - talk - any 'code' he has is so flexible as to be non-existent. I feel a mixture of contempt and pity for Linfarn. So much potential wasted on so little. From the looks of things any woman can twist him around her little finger; Flora, Fiona and this Guenevere have all done it. I'm sure Nemain could do so as well if she wished, but fortunately for him she doesn't seem the type. Linfarn in particular, and Amber in general, seem sadly in need of some civilising influences. Given past performance I'm not sure if I'm quite the person to provide them, but I don't see anyone else who is about to...
There is still some tension between Eric and Corwin, not too surprisingly. Eric seems a fairly reasonable and nice person on talking to him, but this is the same person who had Corwins eyes burned from his head with hot pokers. And Corwin led huge numbers of innocent shadowites off to their deaths in a futile war. At least I feel guilty about the innocents I've killed. I wonder if he can say the same? And then there is Dalt. I would still like to know why he came to contact me on Purity, and what he and the White Lady were up to. It would probably be useful to know what his plans are for the future. Not that I expect any straight answers of course, that would be asking far too much! And the other elders I have met or heard described? Benedict is intimidating. He is always on the lookout, grim and ready to fight. He seems unable to relax or enjoy himself. Definitely a person to keep on the good side of! Julian is, like Benedict, a taciturn type, and not someone I would particularly like to offend, but seems far less competent and intelligent than Benedict. I just don't like him! Perhaps it was his slaughter of Martin when Amber returned, but nothing he has done since then has improved his standing in my eyes. Fiona seems far too manipulative for anyone's good. It would appear she indirectly caused the death of Martin for her own reasons. Random seems like scum of the highest order.
It continues to amaze me how uncivilised Amber is, compared to so many supposedly unreal places off in shadow. It amazes me that there are any civilised shadows at all, given what they are reflections of! I suppose the civilised places must arise from reflections of Ambers better side. I keep feeling like some kind of shipwrecked sailor living in the midst of some less developed culture, finding them uncivilised and possessed of all kinds of unsavoury habits that I wish to change. I can't help but look down on them and their works and feel as if I am an unwilling missionary of civilisation. Arrogant of me? Perhaps. But, I feel, not unjustified. I suppose a lot of it has to do with the elder Amberites being so old they are stuck in their ways, and so unused to any other way of life that things never even get the chance to change. Fates save me from becoming so inflexible with age!
I keep having to remind myself that none of the other Amberites can be relied upon to do what I would consider the sensible or reasonable thing. It really becomes more and more obvious that the only thing I have in common with them is my genes. I suspect any 'missionary work' I try to do in Amber has no chance of success. Now that the universes of Corwin and Amber have merged I should try and find Tan'Shakar, if it still exists, and see what state it is in. Maybe I can undo at least part of my failure there by helping to rebuild it.